Marvelous story from Afghanistan on the evening news tonight. They have their version of our "American Idol" talent show called "Afghan Star." It is wildly popular over there and millions of people watch it on televisions that were banned a decade ago.
The news story showed lines of male contestants waiting to audition, and like the US version, showed judges wincing in pain at some particularly bad would-be crooner. There were female contestants as well, and one of them showed a lot of promise and kept making it through to the next round. At one televised performance, this young woman did something that shocked the country and left many viewers gasping in disbelief. What did she do?
She danced onstage!
And I'm not talking some wild Beyonce-esque booty-shaking. She just did a sprightly little two-step across the stage in time to her music.
This is something that is apparently so alien and unheard-of in the Islamic culture of Afghanistan that many people were thoroughly scandalized and shaken. Some male viewers reacted badly, saying that she should be stoned or even killed. There have been death threats made to her, and the video showed her tearfully reuniting with her mother and sisters, who were told that she had been killed.
All for dancing on television. This shows the amazing difference in cultures from this side of the world to the other. On this side we are treated to an astonishing flood of body parts and a lot of graphic rump-shaking, boobie-bouncing and hoochey-coocheying all in only several hours of television viewing on most any night of the week. On the other side of the world people freak out when a fully-clothed young woman does a joyful, exuberant dance as part of her performance.
To that brave young woman I say, you go, girl! Dance away, dance your little heart out. Joy is contagious, spread it around as much as you can. Maybe someday soon everyone in your country will be dancing to the music of freedom.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Been There, Done That
Lots of news stories today about the recent Iranian presidential election. The incumbent Ahmadinejad is claiming a landslide victory while at least half the country is screaming "foul." I know you're not supposed to criticize someone for their physical appearance but that guy creeps me out big time. He looks like he has a number of lemurs or chimpanzees or some kind of simians in his recent family tree. Just like George W. Bush used to creep me out because he looked so much like MAD magazine coverboy Alfred E. Neuman. But as we ruefully found out in 8 disastrous years of his presidency, merely looking like an idiot is far less destructive than actually being an idiot.
So everybody in this country is tsk-tsking that the Iranian elections are obviously a fraud. Americans should be quite familiar with fraudulent presidential elections because we had a doozy in the fall of 2000, in the Bush-Gore contest. There was that incredibly surreal, unbelievable situation in Florida with the hanging/pregnant/whatever chads on the paper ballots. I remember video of all these elderly election workers squinting intensely at the paper ballots like they were watching Internet porn without their bifocals. On election night Florida kept bouncing back and forth between the red and blue columns like it was made of rubber. In the weeks afterward the lawsuits were as thick as mosquitoes in the Everglades. And in a blatant, ridiculous exhibition of partisanship, the scrawny, brittle Florida Secretary of State at the time, Kathleen Harris, certified the election results in Bush's favor without even counting all the ballots. Harris always reminded me of some hideous, repellent zombie from a horror movie who would come to life at night and eat insects and rodents. She looked as if she would smell like some unholy mixture of mothballs and cabbage. In the end the whole hellish situation was put to rest by a stunning, unprecedented interference by the Supreme Court, with the Chief Justice resplendent in his Star-Wars-drag-queen embroidered robes, ruling in favor of the Republicans. So much for judicial impartiality and respect for the Court.
So, it looks like Iran will continue to resemble a nascent nuclear power with a crazy homeless person at the helm. How lovely; I don't suppose just once things could actually work out for the better, could they? However, Americans don't have any reason to feel haughty or superior to the Iranians or question the wisdom of the outcome. After all, I'm sure the world thought the same thing whenever George W. Bush was elected to his second term in 2004: What the hell were they thinking???
So everybody in this country is tsk-tsking that the Iranian elections are obviously a fraud. Americans should be quite familiar with fraudulent presidential elections because we had a doozy in the fall of 2000, in the Bush-Gore contest. There was that incredibly surreal, unbelievable situation in Florida with the hanging/pregnant/whatever chads on the paper ballots. I remember video of all these elderly election workers squinting intensely at the paper ballots like they were watching Internet porn without their bifocals. On election night Florida kept bouncing back and forth between the red and blue columns like it was made of rubber. In the weeks afterward the lawsuits were as thick as mosquitoes in the Everglades. And in a blatant, ridiculous exhibition of partisanship, the scrawny, brittle Florida Secretary of State at the time, Kathleen Harris, certified the election results in Bush's favor without even counting all the ballots. Harris always reminded me of some hideous, repellent zombie from a horror movie who would come to life at night and eat insects and rodents. She looked as if she would smell like some unholy mixture of mothballs and cabbage. In the end the whole hellish situation was put to rest by a stunning, unprecedented interference by the Supreme Court, with the Chief Justice resplendent in his Star-Wars-drag-queen embroidered robes, ruling in favor of the Republicans. So much for judicial impartiality and respect for the Court.
So, it looks like Iran will continue to resemble a nascent nuclear power with a crazy homeless person at the helm. How lovely; I don't suppose just once things could actually work out for the better, could they? However, Americans don't have any reason to feel haughty or superior to the Iranians or question the wisdom of the outcome. After all, I'm sure the world thought the same thing whenever George W. Bush was elected to his second term in 2004: What the hell were they thinking???
Friday, June 12, 2009
EyeWitless News
(6 p.m., turning television on...)
Voiceover: EyeWitless News, Phoenix's oldest and loudest news program... with reporters Jim Redact and Cynthia Kluski-Zoupa, starts NOW!
Redact: Good evening. We begin our broadcast with breaking news. (Turns to left side) Adam Lambert, runner-up in the recent "American Idol" talent contest, has just announced that he is gay! (Cut to Kluski-Zoupa)
Kluski-Zoupa: That's right, Jim. The stunning disclosure came in the most recent Rolling Stone magazine and was quickly picked up by every other media outlet in the country, even the National Review. And it seems that it caught just about everyone completely off-guard. For details, let's go to reporter Ray Cathode on scene in Hollywood. (Cut to remote shot).
Cathode: Jim, Hollywood has been in an uproar ever since the news first hit several hours ago, and as you can see from the burning buildings and overturned cars behind me, it hasn't been received all that well. There are reports of shock, anxiety and complete disbelief from all corners of the world. Let's sample some of that, and go over to our correspondent in London. (Cut to 2nd remote)
Random English Guy: Well, mate, I was just havin' a cuppa with the hen when word came on the telly that that Glambert bloke likes to have bum fun. Well the missus fell off her stool onto 'er arse and commenced to rollin' round on the floor caterwaulin' that it was all bogwash and Glambert ain't no poufter. Neither of us 'ad 'im spotted as a rent boy and we reckoned it was some right codswallop. We was gobsmacked! (Cut back to previous remote)
Cathode: Um... yeah, well, that conveys very clearly the sense of disorientation and confusion that has almost universally greeted this news. Emergency rooms and hospitals all over the country have been flooded with patients complaining of symptoms ranging from simple lightheadedness to advanced schizophrenia as people try to cope with the ramifications of this admission. Take a look at this. (Cut to 3rd remote)
Random American Housewife: Well we just can't believe it. We hoped is wasn't true but when we saw the latest issue of Rolling Stone we knew it was. We didn't think all the leather outfits and eye makeup meant anything, everyone in Hollywood wears that. Even my sister's kid wears eyeliner and he likes girls. We think. Anyhow this is really upsetting to my daughter Kelly who stayed up for 23 hours straight voting for him. She actually took his picture off her bedroom wall and put the Jonas Brothers back up. (Cut back to first remote)
Cathode: There you have it, Jim. We have also heard rumors that the daughter of singer Cher and the late Sonny Bono, Chastity Bono, is going to undergo a sex change, but that hasn't been confirmed yet and we feel certain it is a cruel hoax, calculated only to make people's anxiety worse. Back to you in the studio. (Cut to anchor desk)
Redact: Thanks, Ray. Reports keep coming in from every corner of the country expressing complete disbelief and denial on the Lambert disclosure. We will resume our team coverage in a minute. (Turns to right side) In other news, the National Institutes of Health have announced the discovery of a treatment for cancer which is made from nitrogen, sea water and sand and has proven 99.7% effective in eliminating all forms of the disease. Also, scientists at NASA have confirmed that they have been in communication with a highly advanced alien civilization in the Canopus star system eleven light-years from earth, who have promised to share with Earth their advanced technologies if we would send them Paris Hilton. NASA confirmed that Ms. Hilton has already been strapped to a Saturn-5 booster rocket sitting on a launch pad at Cape Kennedy and they are awaiting further instructions from the aliens. (Turns to right side again, is now facing away from camera) We'll be back with more about the Lambert announcement after these messages. (Cut to twenty minutes of commercials)
Voiceover: EyeWitless News, Phoenix's oldest and loudest news program... with reporters Jim Redact and Cynthia Kluski-Zoupa, starts NOW!
Redact: Good evening. We begin our broadcast with breaking news. (Turns to left side) Adam Lambert, runner-up in the recent "American Idol" talent contest, has just announced that he is gay! (Cut to Kluski-Zoupa)
Kluski-Zoupa: That's right, Jim. The stunning disclosure came in the most recent Rolling Stone magazine and was quickly picked up by every other media outlet in the country, even the National Review. And it seems that it caught just about everyone completely off-guard. For details, let's go to reporter Ray Cathode on scene in Hollywood. (Cut to remote shot).
Cathode: Jim, Hollywood has been in an uproar ever since the news first hit several hours ago, and as you can see from the burning buildings and overturned cars behind me, it hasn't been received all that well. There are reports of shock, anxiety and complete disbelief from all corners of the world. Let's sample some of that, and go over to our correspondent in London. (Cut to 2nd remote)
Random English Guy: Well, mate, I was just havin' a cuppa with the hen when word came on the telly that that Glambert bloke likes to have bum fun. Well the missus fell off her stool onto 'er arse and commenced to rollin' round on the floor caterwaulin' that it was all bogwash and Glambert ain't no poufter. Neither of us 'ad 'im spotted as a rent boy and we reckoned it was some right codswallop. We was gobsmacked! (Cut back to previous remote)
Cathode: Um... yeah, well, that conveys very clearly the sense of disorientation and confusion that has almost universally greeted this news. Emergency rooms and hospitals all over the country have been flooded with patients complaining of symptoms ranging from simple lightheadedness to advanced schizophrenia as people try to cope with the ramifications of this admission. Take a look at this. (Cut to 3rd remote)
Random American Housewife: Well we just can't believe it. We hoped is wasn't true but when we saw the latest issue of Rolling Stone we knew it was. We didn't think all the leather outfits and eye makeup meant anything, everyone in Hollywood wears that. Even my sister's kid wears eyeliner and he likes girls. We think. Anyhow this is really upsetting to my daughter Kelly who stayed up for 23 hours straight voting for him. She actually took his picture off her bedroom wall and put the Jonas Brothers back up. (Cut back to first remote)
Cathode: There you have it, Jim. We have also heard rumors that the daughter of singer Cher and the late Sonny Bono, Chastity Bono, is going to undergo a sex change, but that hasn't been confirmed yet and we feel certain it is a cruel hoax, calculated only to make people's anxiety worse. Back to you in the studio. (Cut to anchor desk)
Redact: Thanks, Ray. Reports keep coming in from every corner of the country expressing complete disbelief and denial on the Lambert disclosure. We will resume our team coverage in a minute. (Turns to right side) In other news, the National Institutes of Health have announced the discovery of a treatment for cancer which is made from nitrogen, sea water and sand and has proven 99.7% effective in eliminating all forms of the disease. Also, scientists at NASA have confirmed that they have been in communication with a highly advanced alien civilization in the Canopus star system eleven light-years from earth, who have promised to share with Earth their advanced technologies if we would send them Paris Hilton. NASA confirmed that Ms. Hilton has already been strapped to a Saturn-5 booster rocket sitting on a launch pad at Cape Kennedy and they are awaiting further instructions from the aliens. (Turns to right side again, is now facing away from camera) We'll be back with more about the Lambert announcement after these messages. (Cut to twenty minutes of commercials)
Monday, June 8, 2009
Cavalcade of Stupidity
I guess they don't call them the "fly-over states" for nothing. You know, the middle part of the country between the left and right coasts. The vast, nameless, faceless heartland, the place where the "real America" lives, as we are told over and over again. The backbone of this country, where stuff gets done and old-fashioned values and ideas still hold sway.
Apparently they are also the repository for all the stupidity and ignorance in this country, too. A small but significant news item came to my attention today. It seems someone who owns 5 Burger King franchises (which probably qualifies them as a business tycoon) somewhere in Arkansas or Missouri was using the signage attached to his restaurant to broadcast the opinion that "global warming is baloney." The Burger King corporate office was going after them because part of their franchise agreement says that they cannot use the restaurant to espouse any political position. Not that the message is complete idiocy, only that they shouldn't use the signs attached to the restaurant to spread the aforementioned idiocy.
Um... a sign on a Burger King? That's what amounts to a forum in that area? Really? And categorizing a complex environmental issue in a word such as "baloney?" Is that a scientific term? Are the schools in America that dismally incompetent that they produce adults with the intelligence and sophistication of a petulant six-year-old?
Just what will it take to get people to wake up to the global warming crisis? Does the Arctic ice have to completely melt away? Does the Arctic tundra have to melt and release enormous quantities of heat-trapping methane gas into our already-stressed atmosphere? Methane is like 200 times more efficient than carbon dioxide when it comes to trapping heat in the atmosphere. Do all the world's glaciers have to melt over the next 50 years and cut off supplies of fresh water to millions of people? Does the sea level have to rise three feet and radically change the coastline of the United States, essentially redrawing the maps of Florida and New York City? Instead, despite these and many other documented, scientifically validated warning signs of impending ecological disaster, we get some moron with his flame-broiled Whoppers dismissing this crisis as "baloney."
I will never understand why people in this country wear their stupidity and ignorance like a badge of honor. Why is there such an undercurrent of anti-intellectualism in American culture? It starts in the schools, where the smart, brainy kids are labeled as "geeks" and "nerds" and athletic achievement is very much prized over scholastic achievement. Americans are so intellectually lazy, they just don't expend any effort to understand the issues which affect all of us; indeed, affect the entire world. Admittedly some issues are rather complicated but they can be framed in such a way that most people would be able to understand the underlying concepts. Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth documentary does this incredibly well. But no, Americans choose the easy way out and ignore the signs and evidence under their very noses, preferring instead to do the ostrich-head-in-the-sand bit and pretend nothing is wrong. It must come from a culture where everything you want is available to you and the rest of the world is merely a giant warehouse for stuff you want and a garbage dump for stuff you don't.
Worse yet, they often use religion as their defense. A congressman from Kansas went on record as saying that global warming was a hoax, because only God can cause the end of the world and mankind has nothing to do with it. And I'm sure many people went along with that. That's just a convenient way of absolving themselves from any blame for the mess things are in right now, and responsibility for taking any action in the future which would work to avert a catastrophe. After all, why do anything to reverse global warming if it's all up to God, anyway? Just forget about it and go on with your lives, it's out of your hands. The same thing is happening with the phony debate around "evolution vs. intelligent design". There is not one iota of scientific evidence for intelligent design, but volumes of evidence for evolution. People refuse to learn anything about the science underlying evolution because it's just a whole lot easier to say that a supreme being created everything and be done with it. No messy fossil record or natural selection to deal with.
Now I realize that not all people who live between the coasts are complete dimwits, I'm sure there are many of them who are as appalled as I am with the arrogant, deliberate dumbness of their neighbors. Living in the backwards, regressive state of Arizona I certainly have no room to criticize any other state. And I am not begrudging people the freedom to believe in religion or anything else they want to believe in. It's just when their ignorance and stupidity starts getting in the way of taking steps to solve a problem about which we are getting very clear, unmistakable warning signs and when their religious delusions start to influence local and regional decision-making that the real damage occurs. Not just to them, but to every living creature on this planet. And that is definitely unacceptable and something no one has the "right" to do.
In the end, it won't be a foreign terrorist with a bioweapon or a nuke in a suitcase which will truly spell the end to America, it will be the ignorance of their citizens, who steadfastly and deliberately wallow in their own stupidity and continue to think they've found safety in the darkness of religion and superstition. Fat, dumb and happy, they go on their way as if nothing at all is happening, just like cattle to the slaughterhouse.
Apparently they are also the repository for all the stupidity and ignorance in this country, too. A small but significant news item came to my attention today. It seems someone who owns 5 Burger King franchises (which probably qualifies them as a business tycoon) somewhere in Arkansas or Missouri was using the signage attached to his restaurant to broadcast the opinion that "global warming is baloney." The Burger King corporate office was going after them because part of their franchise agreement says that they cannot use the restaurant to espouse any political position. Not that the message is complete idiocy, only that they shouldn't use the signs attached to the restaurant to spread the aforementioned idiocy.
Um... a sign on a Burger King? That's what amounts to a forum in that area? Really? And categorizing a complex environmental issue in a word such as "baloney?" Is that a scientific term? Are the schools in America that dismally incompetent that they produce adults with the intelligence and sophistication of a petulant six-year-old?
Just what will it take to get people to wake up to the global warming crisis? Does the Arctic ice have to completely melt away? Does the Arctic tundra have to melt and release enormous quantities of heat-trapping methane gas into our already-stressed atmosphere? Methane is like 200 times more efficient than carbon dioxide when it comes to trapping heat in the atmosphere. Do all the world's glaciers have to melt over the next 50 years and cut off supplies of fresh water to millions of people? Does the sea level have to rise three feet and radically change the coastline of the United States, essentially redrawing the maps of Florida and New York City? Instead, despite these and many other documented, scientifically validated warning signs of impending ecological disaster, we get some moron with his flame-broiled Whoppers dismissing this crisis as "baloney."
I will never understand why people in this country wear their stupidity and ignorance like a badge of honor. Why is there such an undercurrent of anti-intellectualism in American culture? It starts in the schools, where the smart, brainy kids are labeled as "geeks" and "nerds" and athletic achievement is very much prized over scholastic achievement. Americans are so intellectually lazy, they just don't expend any effort to understand the issues which affect all of us; indeed, affect the entire world. Admittedly some issues are rather complicated but they can be framed in such a way that most people would be able to understand the underlying concepts. Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth documentary does this incredibly well. But no, Americans choose the easy way out and ignore the signs and evidence under their very noses, preferring instead to do the ostrich-head-in-the-sand bit and pretend nothing is wrong. It must come from a culture where everything you want is available to you and the rest of the world is merely a giant warehouse for stuff you want and a garbage dump for stuff you don't.
Worse yet, they often use religion as their defense. A congressman from Kansas went on record as saying that global warming was a hoax, because only God can cause the end of the world and mankind has nothing to do with it. And I'm sure many people went along with that. That's just a convenient way of absolving themselves from any blame for the mess things are in right now, and responsibility for taking any action in the future which would work to avert a catastrophe. After all, why do anything to reverse global warming if it's all up to God, anyway? Just forget about it and go on with your lives, it's out of your hands. The same thing is happening with the phony debate around "evolution vs. intelligent design". There is not one iota of scientific evidence for intelligent design, but volumes of evidence for evolution. People refuse to learn anything about the science underlying evolution because it's just a whole lot easier to say that a supreme being created everything and be done with it. No messy fossil record or natural selection to deal with.
Now I realize that not all people who live between the coasts are complete dimwits, I'm sure there are many of them who are as appalled as I am with the arrogant, deliberate dumbness of their neighbors. Living in the backwards, regressive state of Arizona I certainly have no room to criticize any other state. And I am not begrudging people the freedom to believe in religion or anything else they want to believe in. It's just when their ignorance and stupidity starts getting in the way of taking steps to solve a problem about which we are getting very clear, unmistakable warning signs and when their religious delusions start to influence local and regional decision-making that the real damage occurs. Not just to them, but to every living creature on this planet. And that is definitely unacceptable and something no one has the "right" to do.
In the end, it won't be a foreign terrorist with a bioweapon or a nuke in a suitcase which will truly spell the end to America, it will be the ignorance of their citizens, who steadfastly and deliberately wallow in their own stupidity and continue to think they've found safety in the darkness of religion and superstition. Fat, dumb and happy, they go on their way as if nothing at all is happening, just like cattle to the slaughterhouse.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sadly Ironic
Last Sunday saw the murder of Wichita, KS abortion provider Dr. George Tiller by anti-abortion rights zealot Scott Roeder. That's the sad part. The ironic part is that the murder was committed in church where Dr. Tiller was serving as an usher. The fact that some evil, hate-filled individual, who presumably professes to be devoutly religious and is serving "the will of God," saw it necessary to bring their psychopathology into a place of worship and commit one of the most heinous acts possible in the presence of a congregation, the victim's wife, and again presumably God Himself, boggles the imagination. What kind of deranged dirtbag thinks it's okay to murder someone during Sunday services in a church?
There must be a special place in hell reserved for the likes of Roeder and deservedly so, whose lives are so choked with rage and self-loathing that they have to spread it around far and wide, hiding behind the shield of religion, infecting everything they touch and spreading death and sorrow everywhere they go.
But equally repellent and disturbing are the spokespersons for the pro-life movement and right-wing media pundits who go through the same tired routine every time something like this happens. First they condemn the crime in tepid, carefully-chosen words which reek of false piety and insincerity. Then, after doing their due diligence and getting the formalities out of the way, they unleash their true feelings, which are that the victim "deserved" what happened to him or her and it is only a fair and just consequence to their actions. Randall Terry of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue was in the media doing exactly what I just said, referring to Dr. Tiller as a "mass murderer," and took absolutely no responsibility for fomenting and encouraging an atmosphere of hate and lawlessness which directly contributed to his murder. In my opinion Operation Rescue should be designated as a terrorist organization which espouses the vicious murders of health care professionals who are performing a requested, legal service to individuals fully capable of making their own decisions in such matters, and Randall Terry should be prosecuted as accessory to murder before the fact. The world would truly be a much better place without him and his ilk.
Similarly, flatulent gasbag and waste of protoplasm Bill O'Reilly on the asinine, worthless media cancer known as Fox News also tossed in his boring and predictable opinion, issuing a very brief, perfunctory condemnation and then assailing his "far left critics" for taking him to task for his repeated hate-speech in regards to abortion rights. What a sick, pathetic and damaged individual he is. What is it about his life that consumes him with such unbridled hatred of anybody and anything that disagrees with him that he has to spew such invective over and over again each and every day, under the guise of "journalism"? It must really suck to be him, and I might feel a teeny-tiny bit sorry for him if he wasn't such an irredeemable, deliberate and total asshole. The only things sadder than having a broken, disturbed person such as O'Reilly befouling the surface of the earth is having a cesspool like Fox News as a vehicle for his mental illnesses and millions of viewers who gladly partake in his poisonous diatribes every day.
There are a lot of things I wish for in this world. I wish there were no cruelty toward animals, and every pet would be wanted and loved and have a home. Likewise I wish there were no abused and neglected children, and that every child conceived into this world would at the very least be afforded what should be a basic right: a home with parents who would provide the means to at least attempt to reach their potential as human beings. I wish abortion was not necessary, and that children were planned for and wanted. But as long as human beings act like selfish, thoughtless pigs and just do whatever they damned well please because it is their "right," without fear of consequence or responsibility, unwanted children and abortions will still occur.
I firmly believe that the government has no business at all restricting reproductive freedom in women. It is solely and completely the purview of a woman as to what should happen to her body. Conservatives constantly bemoan the lack of "personal responsibility," but it seems to me that a woman deciding her own reproductive destiny is taking on the ultimate "personal responsibility." Or maybe conservatives think everyone should take responsibility for their actions except when it comes to women and their bodies. After all, the Bible says women should always be subservient to men.
Conservatives continue to defile the meaning of religion by claiming they have some kind of Biblical right to commit murder in the name of God and unborn children. They purport to have a "reverence for human life" but still rejoice when an opponent is murdered and see no ethical contradiction in that. There are many men in the anti-abortion movement whose strident, radical positions on the "rights of the unborn" have far less to do with their deeply-felt moral convictions and much more to do with their frustration with lack of control over women's bodies. Women don't need the consent or approval of men to have an abortion, and men don't like these uppity women having that kind of control. It would be one thing if these men just sat in their trailer parks and screamed at their televisions for hours and blamed Barack Obama for their valueless, pointless lives - we could just ignore them. But when they take it upon themselves to murder someone during a church service, then it becomes everyone's problem.
America will never be the "land of the free and home of the brave" as long as there are reprehensible cowards such as Scott Roeder and Bill O'Reilly.
There must be a special place in hell reserved for the likes of Roeder and deservedly so, whose lives are so choked with rage and self-loathing that they have to spread it around far and wide, hiding behind the shield of religion, infecting everything they touch and spreading death and sorrow everywhere they go.
But equally repellent and disturbing are the spokespersons for the pro-life movement and right-wing media pundits who go through the same tired routine every time something like this happens. First they condemn the crime in tepid, carefully-chosen words which reek of false piety and insincerity. Then, after doing their due diligence and getting the formalities out of the way, they unleash their true feelings, which are that the victim "deserved" what happened to him or her and it is only a fair and just consequence to their actions. Randall Terry of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue was in the media doing exactly what I just said, referring to Dr. Tiller as a "mass murderer," and took absolutely no responsibility for fomenting and encouraging an atmosphere of hate and lawlessness which directly contributed to his murder. In my opinion Operation Rescue should be designated as a terrorist organization which espouses the vicious murders of health care professionals who are performing a requested, legal service to individuals fully capable of making their own decisions in such matters, and Randall Terry should be prosecuted as accessory to murder before the fact. The world would truly be a much better place without him and his ilk.
Similarly, flatulent gasbag and waste of protoplasm Bill O'Reilly on the asinine, worthless media cancer known as Fox News also tossed in his boring and predictable opinion, issuing a very brief, perfunctory condemnation and then assailing his "far left critics" for taking him to task for his repeated hate-speech in regards to abortion rights. What a sick, pathetic and damaged individual he is. What is it about his life that consumes him with such unbridled hatred of anybody and anything that disagrees with him that he has to spew such invective over and over again each and every day, under the guise of "journalism"? It must really suck to be him, and I might feel a teeny-tiny bit sorry for him if he wasn't such an irredeemable, deliberate and total asshole. The only things sadder than having a broken, disturbed person such as O'Reilly befouling the surface of the earth is having a cesspool like Fox News as a vehicle for his mental illnesses and millions of viewers who gladly partake in his poisonous diatribes every day.
There are a lot of things I wish for in this world. I wish there were no cruelty toward animals, and every pet would be wanted and loved and have a home. Likewise I wish there were no abused and neglected children, and that every child conceived into this world would at the very least be afforded what should be a basic right: a home with parents who would provide the means to at least attempt to reach their potential as human beings. I wish abortion was not necessary, and that children were planned for and wanted. But as long as human beings act like selfish, thoughtless pigs and just do whatever they damned well please because it is their "right," without fear of consequence or responsibility, unwanted children and abortions will still occur.
I firmly believe that the government has no business at all restricting reproductive freedom in women. It is solely and completely the purview of a woman as to what should happen to her body. Conservatives constantly bemoan the lack of "personal responsibility," but it seems to me that a woman deciding her own reproductive destiny is taking on the ultimate "personal responsibility." Or maybe conservatives think everyone should take responsibility for their actions except when it comes to women and their bodies. After all, the Bible says women should always be subservient to men.
Conservatives continue to defile the meaning of religion by claiming they have some kind of Biblical right to commit murder in the name of God and unborn children. They purport to have a "reverence for human life" but still rejoice when an opponent is murdered and see no ethical contradiction in that. There are many men in the anti-abortion movement whose strident, radical positions on the "rights of the unborn" have far less to do with their deeply-felt moral convictions and much more to do with their frustration with lack of control over women's bodies. Women don't need the consent or approval of men to have an abortion, and men don't like these uppity women having that kind of control. It would be one thing if these men just sat in their trailer parks and screamed at their televisions for hours and blamed Barack Obama for their valueless, pointless lives - we could just ignore them. But when they take it upon themselves to murder someone during a church service, then it becomes everyone's problem.
America will never be the "land of the free and home of the brave" as long as there are reprehensible cowards such as Scott Roeder and Bill O'Reilly.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
An Historic Choice
History was certainly made yesterday when Barack Obama announced his choice for the first of what hopefully will be several opportunities to fill vacancies on the U.S. Supreme Court. Sonia Sotomayor seems to be a capable, very qualified selection who is sure to bring a welcomed sense of balance and diversity to the nation's highest court, which for far too long has been the haven of boring old men. While her addition to the Court will not change the current ideological balance much, her fresh attitude, experiences and judicial accomplishments will do much to counterbalance the reactionary bigotry of Antonin Scalia and the empty-headed, knee-jerk conservatism of Clarence Thomas, probably one of the most unqualified dunderheads ever to make it to the Court.
Next to snagging the presidency, filling Supreme Court vacancies is the Holy Grail of American politics, a chance for a president-elect and a party to stamp their own imprint on judicial decisions which affect each and every one of us for many years after the president leaves office. Sotomayor is still young enough that she may hold on to her seat for several decades into the future.
But it's also been very amusing and gratifying to watch the right-wing hot-air machine spin itself into overdrive, nearly spitting in apoplexy as they fulminate and bloviate over her nomination. Everything they say drips with frustration and barely-concealed racism. You can almost hear them append every "But she's a liberal activist!" comment with "and she's a Latina!!" Yeah, God forbid we should ever get a Hispanic and a woman on the highest court of the land. Hispanics are the fastest-growing minority in America right now and women are the majority in the country. What a horrible thing, according to the conservatives, to have representation for these upstarts.
Anything that gets conservatives upset makes me very happy, and I'm enjoying all the right-wing outrage and blathering. Today on ABC's "Good Morning America" they featured a debate between James Carville and right-wing spokescreep, the execrable, loathsome and vile Ann Coulter. Let me just say that if anyone ever decides to market a line of clothing to methamphetamine-addicted scarecrows, Ann Coulter would be their perfect model. Dripping with her usual brittle, psychopathic contempt, Coulter decried the "politicization" of Supreme Court choices, like this was the first time that has ever happened. ALL Supreme Court choices are highly political and they always have been. It's too great an opportunity for the party in power to pass up. I'm sure she didn't have much to say in the way of criticism when former Retard-in-Chief George W. Bush nominated John Roberts and Sam Alito to the court. Where was her faux-outrage then? Carville was moderate and well-spoken this time, although I realize that being married to Republican fupa-fluffer Mary Matalin must really test your tolerance and sanity.
Of course the dimwitted Senator John Kyl (R-Az) has to step forward and take the lead in the upcoming Cavalcade of Stupidity and threaten to filibuster this nomination. I say, let him do it. Let him paralyze the Senate in these critically important times and let the Republican party take the full blame for it. Call his bluff, I'd love to see him pass out at the podium after 36 hours of reading the Washington telephone directory. Let him try, and then when they haul him out of there, confirm Sotomayor's selection. And tell the rest of the Republicans to enjoy their king-sized ration of crap. As usual, they deserve it.
Next to snagging the presidency, filling Supreme Court vacancies is the Holy Grail of American politics, a chance for a president-elect and a party to stamp their own imprint on judicial decisions which affect each and every one of us for many years after the president leaves office. Sotomayor is still young enough that she may hold on to her seat for several decades into the future.
But it's also been very amusing and gratifying to watch the right-wing hot-air machine spin itself into overdrive, nearly spitting in apoplexy as they fulminate and bloviate over her nomination. Everything they say drips with frustration and barely-concealed racism. You can almost hear them append every "But she's a liberal activist!" comment with "and she's a Latina!!" Yeah, God forbid we should ever get a Hispanic and a woman on the highest court of the land. Hispanics are the fastest-growing minority in America right now and women are the majority in the country. What a horrible thing, according to the conservatives, to have representation for these upstarts.
Anything that gets conservatives upset makes me very happy, and I'm enjoying all the right-wing outrage and blathering. Today on ABC's "Good Morning America" they featured a debate between James Carville and right-wing spokescreep, the execrable, loathsome and vile Ann Coulter. Let me just say that if anyone ever decides to market a line of clothing to methamphetamine-addicted scarecrows, Ann Coulter would be their perfect model. Dripping with her usual brittle, psychopathic contempt, Coulter decried the "politicization" of Supreme Court choices, like this was the first time that has ever happened. ALL Supreme Court choices are highly political and they always have been. It's too great an opportunity for the party in power to pass up. I'm sure she didn't have much to say in the way of criticism when former Retard-in-Chief George W. Bush nominated John Roberts and Sam Alito to the court. Where was her faux-outrage then? Carville was moderate and well-spoken this time, although I realize that being married to Republican fupa-fluffer Mary Matalin must really test your tolerance and sanity.
Of course the dimwitted Senator John Kyl (R-Az) has to step forward and take the lead in the upcoming Cavalcade of Stupidity and threaten to filibuster this nomination. I say, let him do it. Let him paralyze the Senate in these critically important times and let the Republican party take the full blame for it. Call his bluff, I'd love to see him pass out at the podium after 36 hours of reading the Washington telephone directory. Let him try, and then when they haul him out of there, confirm Sotomayor's selection. And tell the rest of the Republicans to enjoy their king-sized ration of crap. As usual, they deserve it.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
One Toke Over The Line
I was trolling around the internet a while back looking for cheap laughs and I found some with this YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye3ecDYxOkg
This is a clip of the old Lawrence Welk show featuring a rendition of Brewer and Shipley's 1970 stoner epic "One Toke Over The Line." My jaw dropped as I watched the video. Did they have any idea what the lyrics of this song were about? Do the math: 1970 + "toke" = marijuana! Ding ding! We have a winner! Did that not even occur to them? The cheesiness factor is off the scale here especially with the clothes, which seemed pilfered from a high school drama class production of "Oklahoma." I thought I was hallucinating and became overjoyed because maybe the long-promised flashbacks from taking all that LSD in the 60s and 70s were finally happening. The kicker is at the end when Mr. Welk himself refers to the song as a "modern spiritual." That got a huge WTF? from me. I really wish the Welk show had continued long enough to do their version of the Village People's "In The Navy" as part of a patriotic music show. I can just see that - a dozen singers on stage, the women in their jacked-to-Jesus hair and puffy-sleeved dresses and the men in their Rotary Club haircuts and canary-yellow leisure suits. With Myron Floren on accordion, of course.
When I was a teenager you could not get any more uncool or unhip than Lawrence Welk. It was usually sponsored by a product called "Geritol" which was some kind of vitamin and mineral tonic specifically made for old people. I immediately labeled the music "Geritol music," something even my parents thought was funny. I'm sure Geritol tasted like the bottom of an old fish tank and I was convinced the only thing it did was made you smell funny, which most old people did. It was painful when the studio audience was shown dancing on the Welk show. Watching them stumble, jostle and bump each other I was sure we were only seconds away from someone breaking a hip. You could just hear the Depends undergarments crinkling and crunching beneath all the polyester. There was usually a bubble machine behind the musicians on stage which spewed out clouds of bubbles in a faux-elegant attempt to invoke the highbrow appeal of champagne. Side note: I read somewhere that the dancers on the show hated the bubbles because they broke on the floor and made it extremely slippery. If there is a "blooper reel" of the Welk show I would love to see it.
But seriously, I can look at clips of "The Lawrence Welk Show" now and get nothing but warm fuzzy feelings from them. It's kind of like televised comfort food - something that fills you with the sweet glow of nostalgia for the kinder, gentler days of your youth. My parents were parked in front of the television every Saturday evening to watch. They could not get enough of the show's schlocky, stridently old-fashioned production values and the creaky, timeworn old songs they exhumed for each show. When I was younger I had to wait very impatiently until Welk was over and something better came on. As I got older I would go upstairs to my room, clamp my stereo headphones on and play rock music at ear-splitting volume in an attempt to purge my brain of the flatulent stodginess of the Welk show.
Okay, that was pretty harsh. Now I really have nothing but nice thoughts about Welk and his "Champagne Music Makers." If nothing else, they gave the people of my parents' generation an hour of clean, pleasant and safe entertainment each week specifically tailored to appeal to them. It was one of their small but meaningful pleasures in the rapidly-emerging youth culture around them. They and their peers could celebrate the comfort and solidarity of their common memories and experiences, much of it rooted in the World War II era. I know my parents delighted in remembering good times when they danced to Glen Miller and Tommy Dorsey and I really enjoyed hearing them reminisce about their youth. Sure, the show aggravated the crap out of me when I was a kid but I have no doubt I aggravated the crap out of a lot of people back then. It all goes around and comes around, and now looking back over the years the Welk show is a direct link to memories of my now-deceased parents and what was a very pleasant time in my life. And anything that made my parents happy makes me happy, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye3ecDYxOkg
This is a clip of the old Lawrence Welk show featuring a rendition of Brewer and Shipley's 1970 stoner epic "One Toke Over The Line." My jaw dropped as I watched the video. Did they have any idea what the lyrics of this song were about? Do the math: 1970 + "toke" = marijuana! Ding ding! We have a winner! Did that not even occur to them? The cheesiness factor is off the scale here especially with the clothes, which seemed pilfered from a high school drama class production of "Oklahoma." I thought I was hallucinating and became overjoyed because maybe the long-promised flashbacks from taking all that LSD in the 60s and 70s were finally happening. The kicker is at the end when Mr. Welk himself refers to the song as a "modern spiritual." That got a huge WTF? from me. I really wish the Welk show had continued long enough to do their version of the Village People's "In The Navy" as part of a patriotic music show. I can just see that - a dozen singers on stage, the women in their jacked-to-Jesus hair and puffy-sleeved dresses and the men in their Rotary Club haircuts and canary-yellow leisure suits. With Myron Floren on accordion, of course.
When I was a teenager you could not get any more uncool or unhip than Lawrence Welk. It was usually sponsored by a product called "Geritol" which was some kind of vitamin and mineral tonic specifically made for old people. I immediately labeled the music "Geritol music," something even my parents thought was funny. I'm sure Geritol tasted like the bottom of an old fish tank and I was convinced the only thing it did was made you smell funny, which most old people did. It was painful when the studio audience was shown dancing on the Welk show. Watching them stumble, jostle and bump each other I was sure we were only seconds away from someone breaking a hip. You could just hear the Depends undergarments crinkling and crunching beneath all the polyester. There was usually a bubble machine behind the musicians on stage which spewed out clouds of bubbles in a faux-elegant attempt to invoke the highbrow appeal of champagne. Side note: I read somewhere that the dancers on the show hated the bubbles because they broke on the floor and made it extremely slippery. If there is a "blooper reel" of the Welk show I would love to see it.
But seriously, I can look at clips of "The Lawrence Welk Show" now and get nothing but warm fuzzy feelings from them. It's kind of like televised comfort food - something that fills you with the sweet glow of nostalgia for the kinder, gentler days of your youth. My parents were parked in front of the television every Saturday evening to watch. They could not get enough of the show's schlocky, stridently old-fashioned production values and the creaky, timeworn old songs they exhumed for each show. When I was younger I had to wait very impatiently until Welk was over and something better came on. As I got older I would go upstairs to my room, clamp my stereo headphones on and play rock music at ear-splitting volume in an attempt to purge my brain of the flatulent stodginess of the Welk show.
Okay, that was pretty harsh. Now I really have nothing but nice thoughts about Welk and his "Champagne Music Makers." If nothing else, they gave the people of my parents' generation an hour of clean, pleasant and safe entertainment each week specifically tailored to appeal to them. It was one of their small but meaningful pleasures in the rapidly-emerging youth culture around them. They and their peers could celebrate the comfort and solidarity of their common memories and experiences, much of it rooted in the World War II era. I know my parents delighted in remembering good times when they danced to Glen Miller and Tommy Dorsey and I really enjoyed hearing them reminisce about their youth. Sure, the show aggravated the crap out of me when I was a kid but I have no doubt I aggravated the crap out of a lot of people back then. It all goes around and comes around, and now looking back over the years the Welk show is a direct link to memories of my now-deceased parents and what was a very pleasant time in my life. And anything that made my parents happy makes me happy, too.
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