Morning Rain - Part 2

This is an excerpt from my book in progress, "Songs of Abundance and Beauty: The Stories of Josiah."

In the beginning Human got along with all the other animals. We shared with them the generous gifts of Mother Earth and they were a part of the great community of life that encircled the entire world. They lived among us, and their babies played with our babies. We watched as their numbers grew and they gathered together in towns and villages. From the start Human and Wolf seemed to have a special relationship. Wolf came down from the mountains and lived with Humans in their villages. All animals had a common language which we used to speak to each other, but Human and Wolf had a special bond. Wolf taught Human everything they knew about the sun and sky and movements of the stars and how the earth was born. Wolf showed Human which plants were good for food and which were good for medicine. Humans learned about the different songs to sing and how to read the messages in the wind.

Dog thought it was a little strange how well Human and Wolf got along, but they didn't much care. They were having too much fun running and playing with their own kind. With Coyote, it was different. Coyote saw how Wolf lived among the Humans and shared in their food and helped each other, and he wondered why he could not do the same. Human hated Coyote, and drove them away every chance they got. Coyote became upset and jealous of Wolf and Human, and decided to do something about it.

Coyote went to their cousin Dog and started to tell them lies about Wolf having a plan to come to their territory and take away all their hunting grounds and food and water. Dog did not believe Coyote at first, but so skillful were the lies Coyote told that the seeds of doubt were planted in Dog's mind. At the same time Coyote went to Wolf and told them that Dog was conspiring with Human and was preparing to take Wolf's place among them and force them back into the mountains. Coyote continued weaving his intricate web of lies by telling Human that Dog and Wolf were preparing to join forces and take over their villages. They also told Human that Wolf would turn on them and murder their children.

One fateful night when Grandfather Moon was absent from the sky, Human was alarmed to see Dog, in large numbers, moving toward their village. Dog was coming to confront Wolf about their plans to force them out of their home. Human assumed the time had come for Dog to join Wolf and attack them. Wolf saw Dog approaching and thought they were also being attacked and would be forced to flee to the mountains. Fear and tension raced through the village as Dog grew nearer. Right then, Coyote sent one of their own to sneak undetected into the home of a Human family that lived on the outskirts of the village and took the life of a child. Human discovered the terrible act just as Dog reached the village and a horrendous fighting ensued. Wolf, Human and Dog fought each other in an epic battle with previously-unseen savagery and violence. The destruction raged all night long, and the next morning Father Sun awoke to find a horrible scene of death and chaos.

When Mother Earth discovered what had happened she was extremely angry, and created fierce rainstorms and torrential flooding to try and cleanse the area. A great many other animals suffered and died in the aftermath as the earth and sky ripped themselves apart in pain and sorrow. Human and Dog together had inflicted great suffering on Wolf who retreated to the mountains, never again to cross paths with Human. Dog slowly moved into the place that Wolf had occupied next to Human and became subservient to them, convincing Human that they would forever do their bidding and be at their service. Human then turned on all animals, except for Dog, and felt that they were superior to the animals despite having lived as equals with them. They began to take many, many animal lives without reason to satisfy their own greed and hunger, and the animals came to fear Human.

But Mother Earth saved the worst punishment for Coyote, whose lies and deceit were responsible for so much damage. From now on Coyote would live in barren, forbidding places, and will never live with Dog, Wolf, Human or anyone else. They will be shunned by other living creatures and will live solitary, lonely lives, trapped between worlds. Their plaintive, sorrowful calls will fill the night air and they will lament and regret their actions for the rest of time.

Many rabbits had lost their lives in the terrible fighting. So appalled were they at the wanton destruction and killing that Rabbit had decided at that point, that even though their lives had been taken by senseless barbarism, they themselves would never, ever do the same. So it is to this day, even though Rabbit may be prey to many other animals, they themselves never take the life of another animal, no matter what.

Mother Earth was very sorrowful when she saw what her children had done, and to remind everyone of how wonderful things used to be, she created some new constellations in the nighttime sky. She created a Human made of stars and placed him in the cold, crystal winter sky, to commemorate the beautiful, pure relationship Human had with the Earth but was now gone forever. She placed a handsome, noble Wolf constellation next to the Human, to celebrate the once-great relationship the two had had and was now also irretrievably lost. And finally, she placed a Rabbit constellation under them, being sheltered and protected by Human and Wolf.

Humans nowadays will tell you something different. They named the Human constellation Orion, and exalt him as a great Hunter. They also say that Orion's companion is a Great Dog, instead of Wolf, and that Orion and Dog are hunting the Rabbit, instead of protecting him and keeping him safe.

"This is what the humans say happened," said Auntie Jools, "but we know differently." She looked around at all the young bunnies in front of her, with their bright, sparkling eyes wide open, ears straight up and noses twitching. Lowering her voice to nearly a whisper, she said, "We are Rabbit, and never forget that we above all other creatures are favored by Mother Earth. Life can be hard for us and Humans and other animals can do terrible things to us, but Mother Earth has given us great gifts and blessings. We will survive and..." She looked down at the very youngest rabbits, peacefully sound asleep and nestled in the soft, warm expanse of her own fur, and said, "...we will thrive!"

Morning Rain - Part 1

This is an excerpt from my book in progress, "Songs of Abundance and Beauty: The Stories of Josiah."

It started to rain last evening, right after the sun went down. We were all back in our barn so no one got wet, but we heard the noise of the rain on the roof, like many little rabbits thumping at once. We could smell the fresh smell of the rain and felt the cool, moist air coming in under the door. It reminded me of sweet grass and moss and tiny mushrooms, and I found it to be really pleasant. We all went to sleep to the music of the steady rainfall, and felt safe and content. At one point during the night we heard loud booming noises outside and saw flashes of blue and purple light, and some of the bunnies got scared and upset, but it passed quickly and we were left with the loud, angry noises fading off into the distance and being replaced by the soft purring of the rain.

The rain continued all night and morning came dark and gray. The nighttime just sort of blended into the morning and you couldn't really tell where one ended and the other began. The barn was unusually still for quite a while, with none of my rowdy friends waking me up and demanding to go outside to play. It was a quiet, restful and slow kind of morning, and we liked it.

One of the humans came in with our breakfast and I couldn't tell if they were upset or not. Sometimes on cold mornings when they bring us breakfast you can see that they are cranky and didn't want to do it. They sometimes mumble about staying inside their own barn and drinking warm stuff. I don't know, but that didn't happen this time. The human dropped off the food, petted and stroked a couple of the bunnies, cleaned up the mess that somebody made (but wouldn’t admit to), and then left. We knew it was one of those days when we would be by ourselves mostly and would not be able to go outside and play chase or nibble on plant leaves, but we didn't care. We had lots of food, were warm and dry, and we were all together! We knew we would have a good time.

Often during these rainy days one of the female rabbits will gather all us younger bunnies like me around her for a storytelling session. They take these stories pretty seriously and tell us that it is our rabbit history we are learning, not just listening to an entertaining tale, but we just like to hear stories. This time it was Auntie Jools who would be doing the storytelling. Auntie Jools is a big white bunny lady with red eyes who has been around for a long time. Everyone calls her "Auntie," just as we call all the other female bunnies like her. I think she is very nice and knows so many wonderful stories, but she will cuff you behind the ears in a second if you act up or make noise while she is talking. Sometimes a couple of the very youngest bunnies will fall asleep during the storytelling but Auntie Jools doesn't seem to mind. In fact she will let the littlest ones snuggle right next to her and listen to her heart beat while she talks. She knows that they will not hear every word she says but she doesn't get upset; she knows that just by being there they are learning important lessons nonetheless. She loves the little ones and will always give them kisses any time they want.

Auntie Jools got more comfortable, sitting down on the ground and allowing a couple of baby bunnies to cuddle in the big flap of fur around her neck. She lifted her head and said with her stern voice, "Who would like to hear a story?" Some of the bunnies are scared of Auntie and think she is mean, but I know she isn't, it is just her way of speaking. "ME! ME!" a bunch of us called out, "I want to hear a story!" She just looked at us and we quieted down immediately. Auntie Jools is one of those rabbits who doesn't have to say anything to get her point across.

I was sitting between my two best friends, Zachary and Constance, and I could feel their warm fur next to me. I felt completely happy right then and there, and I knew this is one of those times in life when everything is perfect and we really don't need anything else to feel totally satisfied. We all hunkered down on the ground and settled in for a good, long story. This is the story Auntie Jools told us on that dark, rainy morning:

A very long time ago, the world was a different place than it is now. It was a time when everything was clean and fresh and new. The air was fragrant with the aroma of many different flowers and every gentle breeze carried with it a new story of the richness of life. The rivers and streams were crystal-clear, and ran cold and pure. During this time, Mother Earth, Father Sun and Grandfather Moon existed in perfect harmony. There were many different kinds of animals that lived on Mother Earth, and all coexisted in peace and tranquility. Some animals ate other animals, as was their nature, but it was never done out of cruelty or malice. Everyone knew their place and the role they played in making the world a very lovely place to live.

We rabbits have always occupied a special place in the heart of Mother Earth. In fact, the original word for "rabbits" meant "children of earth." Rabbits spend their lives mostly in the bosom of Mother Earth, digging tunnels and chambers into her soft body. We are born there and return there over and over again. We come up to find food and water, of course, and to run and play in the warm sunshine, but we always come back to the cool, dark embrace of our Earth Mother to live our lives and sing our songs and have our babies. We are creatures who need to feel the firm presence of Mother Earth under our feet, and we are not happy unless we do. Life can get a little harsh for us sometimes, with floods or drought or freezing cold, but we know that Mother Earth will always take care of us. She holds us close and always makes us feel we are beloved to her.

Besides us rabbits, there were lots of other animals on earth. There were the creatures of the air, so many different kinds and in such vast numbers the sky was sometimes darkened with their presence. They rode the wind and played among the clouds high above. Some of these creatures chose to live on the water, and others had very beautiful and colorful feathers. There were many animals that lived under the surface of the water and we could sometimes see them moving about silently when we came to a pond or a stream for a drink. Still others crept and slithered among the grasses and bushes, and some lived with us in the earth. But everyone got along and the world was a place of peace and contentment.

Also favored among all animals was Wolf, a big, strong, noble animal with great skill and abilities. Wolf lived in the cold, austere highlands and mountains, many of them leading solitary lives. After dark we could often hear them calling to each other and speaking to Grandfather Moon, their faint and ghostly songs drifting in on the luminous night air. They sung of dreams and phantoms and yearning, and seemed to be constantly searching for something. Wolf was a very strong presence and a protector of all other animals. They made sure everyone behaved and if someone got a little out of control, Wolf would come down from the mountains and set them straight. In particular Wolf was our protector and made sure we rabbits were safe at all times.

Wolf had a cousin, named Dog. Dog was not as mighty and powerful as Wolf, and lived in big, gregarious packs of many families in the lowlands and valleys. They could be heard playing and chasing and shouting at each other, and usually made quite a ruckus for no good reason. What Dog lacked in strength and power it made up for in intelligence and sociability. Dog seemed to thrive the most when living among a lot of other animals where things were very busy and active.

Wolf and Dog both had another cousin, Coyote, who was a little bit different. Coyote could not make up his mind who he wanted to be or where he wanted to live. He was bigger than Dog but not as big as Wolf. He lived in small family groups who were moving around all the time, never staying in one place for very long. Sometimes they would come into the lowlands to look for food, other times they would go up into the mountains where Wolf lived. They could never seem to find enough to satisfy them and sometimes stole food from other animals. Coyote also sang songs at night, but they were songs of unhappiness and resentment and conflict. The other animals didn't know what to think of Coyote but understood that they were exactly as they should be, as Mother Earth intended.

One night something extraordinary happened. Grandfather Moon slipped into the shadow of Mother Earth and hid his face. A new star appeared in the sky with a long tail. It moved slowly across the black sky and disappeared into the east, where Father Sun brought the dawn every day. A few days later a new animal appeared. It was tall and slender and mostly hairless, and moved about on its two back feet, looking quite different and strange. It didn't look very strong or able to run very fast, but we all got the impression it was very crafty and cunning. It moved about timidly at first but then with more assurance, and it wasn't long before it was moving about with confidence. It called itself "Human".

To Be Continued...click here for Part 2

A Patch of Violets - Part 1

This is an excerpt from my book in progress, "Songs of Abundance and Beauty: The Stories of Josiah."

You know when you first wake up in the morning and you just start to stir a little bit – your body is beginning to wake up, but your brain is still a little bit slow? I like to think of it as a foggy morning inside your head. You don’t know what’s going on around you but you’re so comfortable, all curled up snoozing, that you really don’t care.

“Hey Josiah!” The little voice came bouncing off the rough, wooden walls of the barn as the first morning light crept into the hay-filled corners and crevices. “Are you up yet?”

I slowly opened my eyes a little bit. I knew it was the voice of my little friend Zachary. Zack is a young bunny about half my age, who always was the first one up in the morning and ready to go out and play before anyone else.

“Zack,” I said, lifting up my ears. “You have to be quiet, you’re going to wake everyone else up!” He ran over to my sleeping area, a soft pile of hay underneath a wooden ledge that held some old flower pots made of reddish brown earth. “Everybody should be up!” he declared, with the little twist to his voice which made him always sound like he was asking a question. “It’s getting light outside, the sun is coming up! Come out and see.”

With a backwards-kick of his rear legs, Zack ran around in a small circle in front of my bed a couple of times to make sure I was getting up, and then bounced out the partially open door of the barn to the yard. I got up, did a big stretch punctuated with a big yawn at the end of it, and followed him outside.

Sure enough, the sun was just waking up, still covered with its blanket of clouds behind the big hills to the east. It was already painting the sky above it with highlights of red and orange, a touch of gold here and there. The very highest leaves of the big trees in the distance were also being touched with golden light. I so love to see the tree leaves in the morning light. I sat up on my back legs and sniffed the cool, fresh air. Then I turned all the way around and saw Grandfather Moon, a big round ball of pale yellow, floating low in the greenish-blue sky above the green, misty fields. He looked like a wise old rabbit to me, tired and heading for his burrow, ready to go to sleep.

“Good night, Grandfather Moon,” I said quietly, although I was sure he could hear me. “I will see you again soon.”

Meanwhile Zack was running and jumping and kicking up a little bit of dust. “Isn’t it a great morning, Josiah?” he said. He almost sounded like a little bird, he was so happy and delighted. Some of the other rabbits were beginning to wake up and amble around the yard, looking for their morning nibble.

“Come on, Josiah,” he called out. “Let’s race over to the far side of the yard before the others get there. I’ll bet there are some sweet, young leaves and new grass to eat!” He took off like a shot, scaring a couple of birds who were sitting in a nearby tree, and I took off too, following him in a zig-zag fashion.

Turns out, some other bunnies had gotten there before we did. There is a big area in the corner of the yard where we live that is full of plants and little shrubs, with big tree branches hanging overhead. Everybody loves to go there and look around for tasty things to munch on. It is a pretty safe area for us, with shelter and places to hide. If some of the bad flying things come around, the four-legged creatures who live on the other side of the fence start running around and making a huge racket, so we know we have to be very cautious and hide. Those big animals are very noisy and they all have really bad breath, but they can occasionally be useful.

But me, I like the area because I can look through the fence to what is outside. I have never been outside; it looks like a beautiful place but also a little dangerous. I hear weird noises coming from there every so often, along with some very interesting and exotic smells which I can’t identify. It’s a little bit frightening sometimes but I can’t help but be intrigued by it. I spend a lot of time thinking what it would be like to be out there, away from everyone and the food and the nice safe barn to sleep in. I think it would be a tough place to live, but still, I can’t help wanting to go out there and see. I know I shouldn’t think about it, and a lot of the old lady bunnies here scold me and tell me I would be crazy to do it, but I really want to see what is out there, so near yet so far away.

While Zack was busy stuffing his face with sweet grass, I was nibbling on some spearmint minding my own business when I noticed a group of bunnies nearby. One of them was a brown and white girl bunny I had seen a couple of times before. She was one of a litter of babies born right before the last lightdark, and they were growing up and leaving the care of their mother. There is something about her that I really like, and I don’t know what it is. I would never tell anyone how I feel because then you get teased to within an inch of your life and the bunny that you like thinks you are really pathetic, but I still feel there is something special about her. I love the way her mouth is shaped and she has the most beautiful dark eyes. I don’t see her smile much but when she does it’s like a light turns on. Her face is just perfect and I don’t know why. I have to be careful that no one sees me staring at her because that would end badly for both of us, but it’s hard not to.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t wander over to her to get a better look and see what she’s eating. So that’s what I do, I mosey on over in her direction and am a little surprised when I see that she’s not really eating anything, but staring at a little clump of dark blue wildflowers growing the grass. I get closer to her and try to think of something to say to her. I couldn’t think of anything clever so I just blurted something out.

“Are you going to eat those?” I asked, and right after I did I thought I was the biggest idiot in the world. I wouldn’t blame her if she gave me a loud thump and ran away.

She looked up at me and I noticed she had some really long, long eyelashes. They were gorgeous! Even if she told me to get lost, it was worth it to get this close.

She looked up and said, “Oh no, I’m not going to eat these. I just like to look at them, they are my favorites.”

I didn’t understand how you could look at a tasty plant and not eat it, but I had to be careful because I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of slob.

“Do you know what they are called?” I asked, trying to do anything to get her to talk to me. I was so excited!

“My mother told me they are called zinthann in bunny language, but I heard one of the humans call them ‘violets.” She put her head down and touched one of the flowers with her nose, and I thought I was going to pass out.

“My name is Josiah,” I said. I don’t know why I said that, because I couldn’t think of anything to say afterward. But before I could continue, she said, “I know who you are, I have seen you around the barn and the yard.”

That kind of took me aback a little, I had no idea that she had even noticed me. “I remember seeing you and your mother and your brothers and sisters in that place in the barn next to the big round thing.”

A very small look of sadness seemed to cross her face and I was very afraid that I had said something wrong.

“I remember being there,” she said quietly. “We always had a good time there and we were happy. Now Mama doesn’t have much to do with us anymore, and some of my brothers and sisters have already been taken away, so I try not to think about it too much.

I hadn’t realized that some of her brothers and sisters were gone. That’s what happens around here, you get used to seeing certain bunnies and then one day some humans come into the barn, grab a couple of them and then leave. You rarely if ever seen them again, and if you do see them again they are changed and very different from the way they used to be, and usually not in a good way.

I knew I had to think fast and change the subject to something a little more pleasant, but I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I was desperate, and desperation makes you do stupid stuff.

“I saw Grandfather Moon this morning!” I said, and immediately regretted it.

Without even a pause, she said, “I saw him too. I love looking at him.” Somehow she made me feel at ease and not as much of a moron as I thought I was.

Relaxing a little bit and taking a breath, I said, “I just realized I don’t know your name.” She looked at me and gave me the tiniest little smile. “My name is Lila,” she said.

I felt like I had just been given a really wonderful gift. “It was nice talking to you, Lila. I hope we can talk again.”

“So do I, Josiah,” and at that point we both resumed what we were doing and gradually mingled in with the other bunnies.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Lila and even though our conversation was short, she really impressed me. She was just so sweet and self-aware and maybe a little bit sad, but I could not stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stop thinking about what was outside on the other side of the fence, either. I thought about that day and night, and every time I went outside my eyes were drawn to the distant world out there. Something was calling me, telling me I had to leave and find out what it had in store for me.

Some days later I decided I couldn’t stand it any longer and had to find out more about the outside world. I had overheard some bunnies talking about an older male bunny whom they said actually got out and spent time in the outside world on his own, before the humans somehow found him and brought him back to where we live. His name is Hector, and he is a big, gruff, unpleasant guy who spends all his time by himself and doesn’t have much to say to anyone. The other bunnies say he’s not that old but he looks old. I see him every so often and like everyone else, I don’t have anything to do with him; but I figured out that if I was going to find out anything about the places beyond the fence, I would have to talk to him.

I had to be cagey about the whole thing and approach him cautiously. If I came on too strong he would just kick me and I wouldn’t want that at all. So one afternoon I saw him sitting outside, alone as usual, and carefully, slowly, walked up to him, my ears against my back, showing as much respect as possible. I decided to greet him in the traditional rabbit fashion.

“May wellness and joy be upon you, sir,” I said meekly. A lot of the younger bunnies think that addressing the adult bunnies in the old-fashioned way is pretty lame, but I know they appreciate it.

Hector just glared at me with his dull brown eyes. He said nothing but I thought I heard a little grunt. Taking heart in not getting beat up immediately, I proceeded cautiously.

“May I ask you a couple of questions, please, sir?” I said. I put my ears and head down. It was now completely up to him, he was in control of the situation.

He glared like he was really angry at me and I thought, I am a goner. It was so quiet I could hear the wind through the trees over the fence. After what seemed like forever, he said to me in a deep, gravelly voice, “Why are you bothering me?”

I stayed completely scrunched against the ground, as respectful as possible. “Well, sir, my name is Josiah and -“

“I know who you are!” he bellowed. “Do you think I’m some kind of idiot?”

Trying not to act completely terrified, I stammered out, “N-No, sir, I..."

“I’ve been here long enough that I know everybody,” he snapped. “At least you have enough sense not to hang out with that pack of hooligans that are always getting into trouble around here.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. I really felt scared and confused, and I didn’t know what I could possibly say to make things better. So I said nothing.

After a short while (which seemed like forever) he finally said harshly, “What is it that you want to ask? Come on boy, spit it out. I don’t have all day to waste, waiting for you to think of something to say.”

I regarded this as a positive development. I figured that things could go south at any second so I better make my case and make it well.

“Sir,” I said, “I think a lot about what is out there, on the other side of the big fence. I don’t know what’s there but I feel I have to find out. I have heard that you have been there, on the outside, and I wonder if you could please tell me what you saw.”

Hector lifted his head a little bit, I think to make me feel even more inferior than I already did, and said nothing for a few seconds.

“So you want to know what is outside the fence?” he said, a little derisively. “You’re a nosy little thing, aren’t you?”

I couldn’t deny that, but I said nothing. I kept looking straight ahead at his front paws, all dirty and caked in mud, with cracked toenails.

“Are you thinking of taking a little excursion, young Josiah?” he asked bluntly. “Is that why you’re asking?”

“Well, yes, I mean, no, sir. I-I mean…” I was really getting rattled and I felt everything falling apart in front of me. “I don’t know exactly what I mean, sir.”

Still glaring at me with his dusty, cloudy eyes, he said, “If you’re smart, you’ll stop thinking about the outside and just be happy to stay where you are. The outside world is a mean, harsh place where you have to search very hard for your food and water, they aren’t just served up to you every day like here. It is cold and damp, and the ground is hard and rocky. You are very lucky if you can find a place to live that isn’t crawling with every sort of horrible creature that all want to have you for dinner, and I don’t mean as a guest.” He shifted his weight a little bit and I could tell he was starting to get agitated.

“When you’re outside, death can be waiting for you around every bush or tree,” he continued. “You never know when something is going to jump out at you or grab you from the sky, and break your back or tear out all your guts. That can happen in a second, before you even know it. As a matter of fact, it’s better if you don’t even know when it happens.”

I just crouched there and trembled in fear. “What did I get myself into?” I thought to myself. Hector continued in his deep, mean voice.

“You will watch other animals die all around you, and wonder if you’ll be next. You will see other rabbits, but they are born to live in the outside. They will shun you and attack you, and run you out of their territory because you have the mark of the humans on you. You will be very lonely and think you are the only rabbit in the world.” He stopped and gave me an icy cold look. “Is this the kind of world you want to go to?”

I didn’t know what to say to him. He stopped talking and took a slow breath.

“Listen carefully, and know this,” the grizzled rabbit said, fixing me with his piercing gaze. “If you want the have the world outside, you will have to give up something you have now. That’s how things work - everything is in balance. To get something you must give something up. Choose wisely, young Josiah, because what you get in return for giving up something you have may be, in the end, not what you really wanted at all.”

I felt like my feet were frozen to the ground. I could not move and was barely able to breathe. The old man turned to look over at the fence.

“I will tell you one more thing,” he said, a bit more calmly, "and then you will leave. If you go outside the fence, you will feel something, something that will change you and your life forever. It is something that will make you jump and run like crazy. It will make you dance for no reason, even if you’re feeling poorly, and make you want to put up with every horrible, terrible thing that will come your way. You will taste something that will transform your life and everything will be different afterward.”

I was scared and intrigued at the same time. Somehow I found my voice to ask him one last question.

“What is it that I will taste, that will change my life so much?” I asked very apprehensively.

Hector glared at me with cold, hard eyes that had seen far too many bad things. I had no idea what he was going to tell me, and I was very surprised when he said but a single word:

“Freedom.”

To be continued...

A Patch of Violets - Part 2

This is an excerpt from my book in progress, "Songs of Abundance and Beauty: The Stories of Josiah."

My talk with Hector really gave me a lot to ponder. I will admit that it scared me a little bit. Well, a whole lot, actually, and for a while I didn’t want to think of the outside world. I just went on with my normal life, and it was pretty good. I continued to see Lila just about every morning, and the time we spent in the grassy corner of the yard became “our time,” something we looked forward to each day. She usually seemed to get there before me, and I could always find her near a little patch of those bluish-purple flowers she loved so much, which she called ‘violets.’

Lila would talk to me about many things – her mother, how she missed her brothers and sisters who were taken away, and living in this place with so many other bunnies. I would talk about some of that stuff too, but more and more we began to discuss what was beyond the fence. We would sit next to each other and smell the tiny wisps of fragrance that came our way, carried by the wind from faraway places, and we would try to imagine what was causing those wonderfully exotic aromas.

It was on one of those mornings, after it had rained the night before and the sun was shining through dark banks of purple clouds, that she turned to me and said, “We have to get out of this place.” I turned and looked at her in surprise, because she had never said that to me so plainly and simply. But I could tell it was something she felt strongly about, and had spent a lot of time considering. I asked her if she was sure of what she was saying and she said yes, she was. Then I told her from everything I had heard, the outside world is a scary and unforgiving place, and there would be many things we would need to worry about that we don’t have to here. She said she understood things would be a lot tougher than they are now, and that we might not last long out there, but she said she had to try and she could not think of anyone whom she would rather be with than me. I can’t tell you how good that made me feel, and also how frightened.

So, we went about trying to figure a way out. We thought of many things, but there were always barriers or obstacles we could not get around. One afternoon I was just sitting and minding my own business when the gate to our living area opened up and a couple of humans brought in a big cart kind of thing, loaded with food and hay. They did this every so often and no one paid much attention to it, since it has been going on as long as anyone can remember. There was always one human who guarded the gate and kept it closed, so no one could get out. They always pulled the cart back out once it was unloaded, so something went off in my head that this was a way out. I snuck around the other side of the cart where no one could see me and ran under it, between these two great big round things. I looked up and saw a small shelf kind of thing underneath, which looked like it might be big enough for two bunnies. If we could get underneath and jump up onto the shelf, it might be our way out of here. I dashed out from under the cart and the next morning Lila and I talked about what I saw. We decided we would try to escape the next time that cart came in.

We got our chance a couple of days later when the cart came back in. I ran over to her and got her as fast as I could.

“Follow me, Lila,” I said breathlessly. “This is our chance!”

She and I ran to one side of the barn and next to the cart, hidden from the view of the humans. I ran underneath and hopped up onto the shelf. Much to my horror, I found the shelf was a lot smaller than I thought, and there was barely enough room for me.

“Lila, try to jump up next to me. I don’t know if you can do it!”

She got under me and jumped up. She landed on top of me and we tried very hard to stay on the shelf, but once it started moving she lost her footing and slipped off, onto the ground. She looked up at me with fear in her eyes.

“Josiah, I don’t think I’m going to be able to go with you. There’s just not enough room for us both!”

“Lila, don’t give up!” I cried urgently. “We can do it, I know we can. Try to jump up again!”

The big round things started to turn and the cart lurched backwards, toward the gate. Lila started to follow but had to run back to the barn. What she said next made my heart break.

“Goodbye, Josiah,” she said. “Please take care of yourself and stay safe. I will never forget you.”

The cart started moving faster and I became very scared. I could not move as I felt myself being shaken and jostled about. I took one last look at her and felt like crying.

The cart continued moving and although I could see just a little bit of the ground under me, it started to change and look like nothing I had ever seen. Those big four-legged things sounded louder and closer than ever before. Then the cart started to shake violently up and down. I could no longer keep my balance and fell off the shelf to the ground. I looked around and could not recognize anything, I had no idea where I was. The only thing I saw was some tall grasses and plants that I had only seen on the other side of the fence. Something told me that is where I had to be, so I took off running for them as fast as I could. A couple of seconds after I did some of those four-legged things started to howl and make an awful noise, and one of the humans nearby started hollering and screaming, but I was not about to stop. I saw a couple of the four-legged things take off after me, but I really turned on the speed and took off into the low bushes, where tangled branches and sharp thorns kept the four-legged things from following me. I had escaped!

I ran and ran for a very long time. I ran until my lungs burned and my legs ached. It was almost like I couldn’t stop myself. Eventually I had to stop, because I came across this ribbon of running water, something I had never seen or imagined before. Good thing, too, because I was really thirsty. I went over and drank and drank. As I did I looked into the water and saw something amazing – clouds! There were clouds on the surface of the water. I had never seen that before and wondered, what kind of inside-out world had I landed in?

I lifted my head and looked about – around me everywhere was space! Open space, lots of space. No fences, no barn, no anything. Just trees and plants and hills and sky. The ground felt cool and damp, just like Hector had warned, but it didn’t feel awful. I was overwhelmed with new sights and sounds and strong smells I had never before experienced. I was more terrified than I had ever been but I was also excited and thrilled and happy, as never before. Is this what Hector meant by the taste of freedom?

It got dark really quickly in this new place, and it was the darkest dark I had ever seen. The sky was covered with clouds, which made it even worse. I found a place to hide under some thick bushes and I just sat there, not sleeping just listening to everything around me. There were a lot of scary sounds which I couldn’t identify. It made me wish for a second I was back in my regular sleeping place with the other bunnies in the barn.

The next morning finally came and I watched the sun rise up out of its cushion of clouds as I had always done, but this time it seemed different. I saw other animals stirring and moving about, so cautiously I came out from my hiding place and wandered around a bit, never getting too far from the place I felt was a little bit safe. Gradually I became slightly more comfortable in moving about but never really relaxed. I was still extremely vigilant and aware of everything around me, and this became the new normal for me. I found a number of things to eat, some familiar but most completely new to me and I wasn’t always sure I liked them. But often, I didn’t have much of a choice.

My days became basically a long period of hiding and staying out of sight, between periods of searching for food, when the sun came up and when it went down. A couple of evenings later I looked up into the sky and saw Grandfather Moon, the first time since I came to this new world. He had turned into Grandbaby Moon, a thin sliver low in the sky, and he was starting his life-cycle again. It was so great to see something familiar again, and it made me think of the place I left. I wondered if Lila was looking up right now, gazing at the same moon I was, and thinking about me. I suddenly realized how much I missed her and how I wished she was here with me.

I saw a lot of other animals I had never seen before and most were pretty scary-looking. A couple of them took off chasing me and it scared me nearly to death, but I was able to get away from them. One of them almost caught me, and for a second I thought I was done for. It was only because of my strong back legs and the fact that I can change direction in a fraction of a second did I get away. My heart felt like it was going to explode inside my chest and I realized that staying alive out here involved a great deal of skill and ability, but also a lot of luck.

My luck nearly ran out on me when I was looking for some water at night, when I heard something that sounded like very quiet hissing, coming up above and behind me. Instinctively I jumped aside and whirled around, and something big and dark charged out of the sky right at me. Again my instincts told me to run as fast as I could, and I did. I felt some sharp things dig into the skin on my back and I dropped down and flipped over as fast as I could, and whatever it was lost its grip on me. I was able to dart under some bushes and get shelter, but my back hurt terribly bad and I felt some warm liquid run down my side under my fur. My back hurt even worse the following morning and for days afterward, but I got used to it.

After a while it became hard to find anything good to eat so I had to travel a lot further than I ever had before. One day while searching for some food I suddenly felt like I was being watched. I looked up and a little way off from me was another rabbit, the first one I had seen in what felt like ages. I froze in my spot and our eyes just locked on each other. It was a brown and black rabbit with huge, huge ears. It looked right at me with enormous eyes, and I didn’t know what to say. We were both breathing very hard.

I thought I would try the regular greeting so I said, “May wellness and joy be upon you.” There was no answer, so I decided to try again, and repeated the greeting.

Before I had a chance to finish it, the other rabbit said very loudly, “WHO ARE YOU?” I was startled because it was a female’s voice, with a thick accent I could barely understand, although I found it really charming and attractive.

“My name is Josiah,” I said, “and I was looking for something to eat. I haven’t eaten in a long while and can’t seem to..."

“What are you doing here?” the other rabbit barked at me. She continued to look at me with great suspicion, and I knew she did not trust me one bit.

“I left the place where I had been living, to find out what there is to see,” I said, with a lot of hesitation, because I really didn’t know how to explain where I came from. “I was living in a big place with a lot of other rabbits and –“

“I know the place you came from,” she said sharply. “You have the smell of humans about you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I tried to change the subject. “Where do you come from?” I asked. “Are there any other rabbits around like you? I haven’t seen another rabbit in a very long time and I am getting very lonely.”

Her eyes seemed to soften up just a tiny bit and she said, “I live in a warren with a lot of other rabbits. We have been watching you closely ever since you came into our range.”

My eyes opened wide and I got really excited. “There are other rabbits around?” I asked. “Can I meet them?”

“No, you can’t,” she snapped, with no emotion. “The others will attack you and chase you away. We don’t want anyone like you around. You have been touched by humans, and you can never live with us.”

Crestfallen, I looked down at the ground and felt sad. Is this how my life was going to be from now on? I looked up and asked, “Can you at least tell me where I can find something to eat?”

“Go across the field over there, to the left of that hill,” she said, motioning with her ears. “There you will find a good feeding area, with leaves and berries.” She continued looking at me with that same unwavering, suspicious gaze.

“Go there and do not ever come back here. If you do, the others will kill you.” With that, she turned around and disappeared instantly into the thickets. I just stood there, my jaw dropped open with shock, and I could not believe that even other rabbits wanted to kill me. What kind of horrible place is this, I thought. Even though I felt really bad at times, I also knew this was the place I needed to be. At least, I thought, for now.

The days went on, over and over like this, each day pretty much the same: wake up, forage for food, keep an eye out at all times for something that wanted to eat me, run like heck when chased, which was often, get so frightened you’d think you were dying, find a little bit of quiet time when you could relax. I watched Grandfather Moon as he grew fatter and eventually became a big round ball in the sky. I could feel that I was getting skinny, but I never felt tired. I got used to being on high alert all the time. A couple of times it rained really hard and I got soaking wet and very cold, but I got through it. I cut my feet on something several times and I started sporting a number of wounds and scabs. But still, every day was thrilling and harrowing and interesting, and I have to say I started to enjoy myself and my new life.

But one evening, I looked up into the sky at Grandfather Moon and he had once again turned into a skinny crescent in the sky. I looked down at the ground near my feet and I could not believe what I saw. There was a little patch of violets, just like the ones Lila loved so much. I looked at those violets and felt something change inside me. I looked at them and realized I missed Lila more than anything, and I needed to see her again. It was exciting and fascinating and terrifying out here, but I realize what I was really missing in my life, and that was seeing Lila. Is that what Hector was trying to tell me, what seems like a long, long time ago - that in order to live out here on my own, I had to give up Lila and spending time with her? Is that what I had to trade for something that he called “freedom?” If so, I began to understand I made the wrong choice. I realized that Lila meant more to me than anything I had experienced out here.

I made up my mind at that second, that I had to go back.

To be continued...